Long and Lost

It appears that my old high school friend, D.S., is coming to town. I haven’t seen him in a while, perhaps two point five years in fact, when he threw himself a goodbye party at a little bar near Canal Street, a stone’s throw from where I used to work and smell the collapse of the Twin Towers daily. He moved to Berlin, which was not an untoward move.
Alas, his return (or not) comes at a time when I feel very much without many of my old friends and colleagues. There are so many people who I once “hung out” with, sat with, drank with, movied with, talked with, commiserated with and they are all alive, thankfully, living their actions in good order. But I have to say that time has put a bridge between me and them and I do miss them, each and every one. Not dramatically or desparately – just plain old miss them.
(I don’t think most people want to admit that they had friends that they don’t see or correspond with anymore because it’s painful to know that this string of (perhaps natural) failures is a precursor to nursing home culture.)
I thought about compiling a list of the individuals who I miss and posting that list here. But then I thought about the categories of “missing” with which I might organize that list. The categories might be something like:

  • Phoned in the past six months
  • Has kids, no longer available
  • Been over three years, no idea
  • Former girlfriend, thankfully
  • Hasn’t called or written me (their fault)
  • Haven’t called or written them (my fault)
  • Lives in another country (Europe)
  • Lives in another country (Canada)
  • Might as well live in another country (California)
  • Went insane
  • Had a falling out with, no love lost
  • Nothing in common but college
  • Emotionally tight but geographically far
  • Common experience under duress, now not
  • Godless heathen
  • Hopeless aristocrat
  • Artist and too busy to meet up
  • Artist and too smart to meet up
  • Artist and too cool to meet up
  • Only does e-mail these days
  • Only does IM these days
  • Won’t remember me
  • Willfully won’t remember me
  • Hopes I never contact them
  • Hopes I do contact them but won’t themselves take the initiative
  • Still in college

3 thoughts on “Long and Lost”

  1. I love this list. It is so much like something I would take time to write. Except my Scottish nature would never let it happen. In spite of the fact that I don’t travel anywhere as much as I used to I think of keeping contact as “hotel insurance.” When I send out my (almost 200 some years) “seasonally based greeting cards” I see each one as an investment that could save me a $100 hotel bill some day. Not to worry I also use it as a time to pause and give thanks for each friend I send to.
    So whether my intentions are honourable or economic I think most of my list would be under the heading “hasn’t called or written- their fault” but I would use the word “choice” rather than fault.
    “Beaucoup de bien choses a chez vous”
    Moon

  2. I love this list. It is so much like something I would take time to write. Except my Scottish nature would never let it happen. In spite of the fact that I don’t travel anywhere as much as I used to I think of keeping contact as “hotel insurance.” When I send out my (almost 200 some years) “seasonally based greeting cards” I see each one as an investment that could save me a $100 hotel bill some day. Not to worry I also use it as a time to pause and give thanks for each friend I send to.
    So whether my intentions are honourable or economic I think most of my list would be under the heading “hasn’t called or written- their fault” but I would use the word “choice” rather than fault.
    “Beaucoup de bien choses a chez vous”
    Moon

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