I’m suffering from a massive cold and in the spirit of unfriendliness and overall dissatisfaction with my recently becoming late 30s guy I have the following news:
I am now old.
Here’s why:

  • I can’t understand the appeal of ringtones.
  • I don’t know why little girls love pink and purple and why companies take no risk when they market to girls with those colors.
  • My head feels just a little bit smaller and more congested than it ever has before and I’m sure it’s because earlier practices are now paying off unkindly.
  • My upper torso is shape shifting all by itself.
  • Very soon I will ask the barber if he can just shave my head to 2 mm of stubble. This will make balding less an issue, they tell me.
  • I have lately worn slippers.
  • For my birthday a year ago, I was given a fanny-pack by my parents.
  • For this birthday, I was given gift cards to nice online clothiers. My understanding is that the family no longer can predict my shirt size.
  • I visit the Web for news and information.

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