Category Archives: Grotesqueries

Candy for Andy.

As I was explaining to my yoga class earlier this evening, I’ve been suffering the consequences of indulging in my daughter’s proclivities for acquiring large amounts of candy on Halloween. I can’t help it. The candy is there and so am I. The two want to meet.
In the bigger picture, I’ve now recognized that my sweet tooth will eventually get the better of me. I’m not going to give up on chocolate or anything. But I realize that buying high-end chocolate (e.g. like Hershey’s Extra Dark, a bar that is unlike anything found in the States yet can be bought in Canada at any regular supermarket) will satisfy my craving without forcing further indulgence and ingestion. I’m sure there’s some science around this.
My own paranoid theory around mass-market candy is that companies (including Hershey, of course) use just enough quality ingredients to sate the palette but the real pleasure is in the sugar itself. This leads to some satisfaction but, ultimately, the body requires a bit more of the goods and, well, there goes 3 bite-sized Snicker bars, 4 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and 3 Wunderbars. Down the hatch.


There’s nothing on television tonight, so I’m making sure that The Onion is still funny. It is.
Here are a few valuable pages and their highlights:
Talking Tax Reforum
“With e-filing, the government’s seizure of nearly half my assets was quicker and easier than ever this year.”
Microsoft Vista Released
“Promise of broad, open-minded future or some bullshit”
Item Found In Garbage To Be Turned Into Lamp Someday
“But when I saw that pipe, I immediately pictured it as a lamp. I’m so psyched that I snagged it before somebody else did.”
Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can’t Index
“We believe that Google Desktop Search is the best way to unlock the information hidden on your hard drive,” Schmidt said. “If you haven’t given it a try, now’s the time. In one week, the deleting begins.”
NASA wants to know if there are ‘lessons to be learned’
“We hope that the public will keep an open mind about what the facts will eventually show and that the legal system will be allowed to run its course.”*
United Nations Pledges $1.2 Billion In Indigestion Relief For U.S.
“Dubbed ‘Operation Soothe and Coat,’ the massive C-130 airlift is expected to provide millions of American indigestion sufferers with cartons of precious, life-giving antacids by week’s end. Much of the $1.2 billion will also go toward emergency helicopter and truck mobilization, distributing alkalides to a network of temporary stomach trouble ‘crisis centers’ set up across the American countryside.”
White House Quietly Retracts Entire State Of The Union Address
“‘This includes all components of the address, and is not limited to the president’s congratulations to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi or his plan to give more Americans affordable health care through tax cuts, which has since been deemed infeasible,’ the statement read in part.”
*Headline and quote from CNN—not The Onion.

More Troops, More Toys, Please.

I wake up this morning to read that there is an incredible amount of chatter in the techie “blogosphere” about Apple’s new products. I admit, I’m semi-excited to see what the company has up its sleeve on Tuesday. The company’s home page indicates that it could be a flashlight of some sort or maybe they’re going to resurrect 2001: A Space Odyssey. Apple’s stock has been all over the place but I’m assuming the new iPod phone or iTV machine they’re about to release will be, at the very least, pretty.
At the same time, in the political “blogoshere,” there’s a torrent of speculation about President Bush’s expected “surge” of 30,000 more troops going to Iraq, while Afghanistan is falling apart at the seams. Although the two announcements are not complimentary nor comparable, the conversations, indeed, are.

  • Both are conducted largely by men.
  • Both are largely based around the Internet because anonymity reigns here.
  • Both conversations are based on secreted information and highly-paid public relations officers.
  • Both enjoy the privilege of hyperbole, using desire and anxiety to fan the flames.
  • Both rely on limited systems of language about technology and not about lives lived.

I’m as curious as the next blogger to hear the news.

Nietszsche BNG 12.

Here’s one of my favorite quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche translated using the The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator:

And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.


Thanks to John Gruber for the tip.

Go Fish.

I just purchased, and ate, for the first time, a little smoked goldeneye fish, whole. It was the color of gold and tasted even better. I pulled off the skin with a fork, and then pulled off the pink flesh from the bones beneath. Slowly, the flesh peeled from the skeleton and, safely on the fork, it went into my mouth. It was a delight and I was horrified at the fact that I was eating near-live flesh.

It's All Temporary.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about those who are currently alive and sitting and breathing and those, among us, who will not, in short time. It could be a bomb, a grenade, a coronary, a clip, or a crash but these lives who inhabit tomorrow’s news live in the same world of wonder that wil never be fully known and never be fully lived.
There is a photo. It’s a piece of the universe. And in that piece there could be part of us.